i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
