Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
