Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is my gift to your gina
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
