A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
