so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
