I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
