I am spending my child support on dildos
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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