Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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