I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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