Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
