Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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