If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
