rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
