You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
