he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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