He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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