I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
