You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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