Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
