Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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