i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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