What did we do last night that was yellow?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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