It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
