I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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