i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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