At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
