rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
