Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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