sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
And then he peed in my hair
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
