Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
