so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
