Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
