Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
