if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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