Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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