Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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