i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
