Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
