How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
