i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
