We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
