It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
