i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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