College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
