five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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