A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
