I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
