i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
