Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
