I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
