is your mom at the bar?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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