i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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