I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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