The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
