Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
